2011 in review

WordPress has released a comprehensive annual report for my blog, which I’d like to share with you. ‘Though I seldom post an entry, I want to thank all of you for making me and my random thoughts part of your 2011 blog-hopping habit. Cheers to 2012! 🙂

———————————

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 17,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Hanggang Sa Muli (Post-Mother’s Day Entry)

Madilim ng langit at kay lamig ng hangin;

Waring nagbabadya ng bagyong paparating.

May hinapuhap ang aking mga mata;

Ang aking mga matang may bakas pa ng luha.

Sisinghap-singhap.

Ulo’y napayukayok.

Hinagpis ay abot langit.

Pighati’y di marurok.

Ilang taon na nga ba ng ika’y lumisan?

Ang dalampung taon ay kay bilis na lumipas.

Ilang taon na nga simula ng magpaalam?

Ang aking lungkot ay sadyang di maparam.

Sing’ dilim ng langit at sing’ lamig ng hangin;

Ang bawat araw na di kita kapiling.

Nakisama ang langit sa ‘king pangungulila;

Paalam na Inay. ‘Gang sa muling pagkikita.

The Best Things in Life are FREE!

For many years, I have thought that money can buy happiness. That we can find its true meaning from things that glitter – new clothes, new bags, new jewelries. And for many years, the proverb “All that glitters are not gold” has proven me wrong.

I remember when I was in my early twenties, I would always visit a mall to window shop when I was sad or depressed. I never went home empty handed. If it wasn’t the mall, I would visit a spa and have a relaxing back massage or a facial spa. I’d always find comfort in things like a new manicure, a new pair of shoes, unbranded bags or clothes, or even in a new headband! No matter how invaluable things were as long as I bought something for my self, I couldn’t care less. Then I’d feel happy. You know that wide smile you see on a child’s face when she finally got what she had been wanting for a long time? I’ve mastered that smile. My happiness, though, wouldn’t always last too long. At the end of the day, I was as empty as my pocket.

When our family migrated here in Singapore, I learned to value the things that cannot be seen or touched: a warm embrace, a short text message from our relatives in the Philippines saying “how are you?”, simple gatherings with friends. I only have few friends here whom I see most of the time. Some are so busy living their fast paced life catching up with their tight schedules. Some are not always around but you will feel their presence at times when you need them most. I don’t need to buy their time. They’re FREE.

I am learning to love the smell of the rain because the rain here is not as natural as it may seem. I am learning to love the company of silence and the chirping of the crows in the background. They give me a feeling of serenity. Our home is my comfort zone and I always find solitude in it. I don’t need to spend money and travel away from the city. A blissful, solitary moment is always close at hand.

I’m currently unemployed but I work more than 12 hours a day, 7x a week, as a mother and a housewife. I go to bed so effin’ tired most of the time. But knowing that my family is comfortable because I make sure there’s a satisfying food on the table, or they lie on fresh linen sheets, I feel great. Taking these things into account, I couldn’t be happier.

A month ago I celebrated my birthday. The third time here since we moved in this country. It’s just a small gathering and only a few close friends were invited, including a blogger friend whom I’ve been dying to meet personally because I only get to chat with her online. Our house was jam-packed and was filled with laughter from people who have met each other only that day. One friend even commented, “grabe ang saya ang birthday party mo… as in! feeling namin, matagal na naming ka chicka yung mga visitors mo.. hehehe.. saya saya!!! =)”. Although there were people who didn’t show up, some foods have gone bad, and I was left with a broken couch and a center table, I couldn’t compare the happiness I felt that very day. It’s beyond words. Immeasurable, if I may say.

I know now what matters most. I know now that…

It’s often true, right. Just forget about the price tags. 🙂

Just Another Manic Moment

There are times in your life when you suddenly feel low and upset about almost everything. You worry a lot; you hate your life; you wished your life was better. No matter how hard you try to be happy and appreciative, or even optimistic, you still feel empty and sour at the end of the day. Sometimes such episodes are either too deep to fathom or too shallow to really worry about.

A week ago, I declared hiatus on Facebook because I was so depressed I couldn’t smile even at the lamest post anymore. I’ve my own series of ups and downs-energetic and cheerful at one point, gloomy and lethargic the next. I’m losing weight for no apparent reason. I remember when I was young, whenever I feel terribly sad or depressed I’d get a blade to cut my arms to relieve me from the overwhelming emotions. The pain caused by these small cuts would somehow give me a temporary satisfaction and made me feel alive again. The sight of blood gushing out from the wounds would give me comfort from the emotional pain that was intolerable than the cuts. The scars are still visible until now. No cream or ointment can ever erase or hide them. These scars will always be a reminder of how impulsive I was as a teenager. Am I bipolar? I often wonder.

As I’m writing this, I still feel a bit low, but I’m more mature now and I guess I can handle my self better. No more cutting of arms, no more foolishness. I’ve outgrown that stage of my life and I can’t inflict pain onto my self again. My kids are smart not to smell my fear and my dismal disposition so I think I’ll just divert my attention to writing down my emotions and deal with it positively. I know I’ll get through this any time soon. Like I always do.

Thank You Lord

Thank you Lord for a year of tears and joy,

For year of sorrow and happiness,

For a year of failure and redemption,

For a year of scarcity and abundance.

Thank you Lord for You never fail to provide,

And You never fail to lift my soul.

*credits to owner

 

 

I’m definitely back!

The last time I visited my site, I got surprised when on the lower right sidebar, I noticed the widget that says, “Blogoversary in 326 days”. Nag-anniversary na pala ulit ang blog site ko, and I was unaware of it. Correction, aware pala ako. As a matter of fact, after I posted my previous entry, I’ve decided to get back to blogging in time for my site’s anniversary. But so much happened and I lost track of time. Until recently, another blogger/friend ended her yearlong hiatus and this triggered my “blogger’s” alarm to go off. Azel, thank you for reminding me that I am a woman with so many talents and that writing is one of them 😆 Speaking of, you may want to visit her new site and enjoy its refreshing look and her inspiring notes. Click here to visit HUE and YOU 🙂

I admit that I thought of leaving blogging permanently as I always get caught up in writer’s block. The more na pinipilit kong magsulat, the more na nai-stress ako. I even lost interest in reading someone else’s blog. I got distracted so many times and felt that blogging was less important than my “farm” and “restaurant”. Eh ano naman ngayon kung marami akong kuwento? Meron pa bang mas nakakapukaw pansin kaysa sa mga tsismis sa showbiz at gulo sa politika? May kuwento pa bang mas nakakabigla, nakakagulat at nakakatakot kaysa sa mga kasalukuyang trahedya sa mundo? But then again, I forgot that blogging is not just about getting the attention of other people. Hindi tayo nagsusulat para lang magpa-impress. Blogging is sharing our experiences, our stories to readers without the intention of gaining popularity; isang magandang outlet kung tayo ay nalulungkot o di naman kaya ay masaya. Dito mo lang din pwedeng isambulat ang galit na kinimkim mo ng mahabang panahon. You can wear a mask and you can always hide under a pseudonym.

I’m getting back to blogging. Hindi man ako araw-araw magsusulat at magbabahagi, but one thing is sure. I’M DEFINITELY BACK! 🙂

P.S.

Salamat sa mga readers na patuloy pa ring dumadalaw sa aking page. It’s a great feeling find out that despite my absence from the blogosphere, mataas pa rin ang views ko everyday. Thank you dear readers! ♥♥♥

Ang Kuwento ng Isang Hurado

Hindi pa full blast ang aking pagbabalik-blogosperyo pero nais ko muna ikuwento ang isang magandang oportunidad na dumating sa akin.

Noong una’y sapat na sa akin ang magsulat, magkuwento at magpahayag ng aking sariling opinyon dito sa mundo ng blogosphere. Lumipas ang ilang mga posts at nakakilala ako ng mga online bloggers at ilang followers. Na-inspire at naging isang follower din. Kuntento na sana ako sa ganoon, ngunit nang magbukas ng pinto para sa ikalawang taon ng pakontes ang PEBA (Pinoy Expat/OFW Bloggers Award), minabuti kong ibahagi ang aking sariling kuwento – pagbabahagi na di naman talaga naghangad ng anumang gantimpala o pagkilala, kung hindi upang mailabas lamang ang sariling hinagpis bilang isang anak at may-bahay ng isang OFW. Kaya ng mapabilang ako sa Top 5, halos lumundag ako sa tuwa. Hindi ko iyon in-expect.

Isang taon na ang nakalipas at ako ay muling nagbabalik-PEBA ngunit ngayon ay bilang isa sa mga hurado. Isang opportunity na napakahirap palagpasin, at napakahirap magampanan. Kung sa tingin mo ay sapat na ang magbasa ay nagkakamali ka. Bukod kasi sa may criteria na sinusunod ay kailangan mong patatagin ang itong emosyon. Mahirap ang maging symphatetic in times you are only requested to emphatize. Masakit sa dibdib, at sa ulo. If I were to decide, lahat siguro pipiliin ko na lang na manalo dahil lahat naman sill ay deserving. Pero kailangan ko pa rin ulit-ulitin ang pagbabasa upang may mapili akong number 1.

Ganito pala ang naging experience ng mga nakaraang hurado, NAKAKALOKA! 🙂

Hindi ko masasabi kung ako ba ay sinuwerte sa paghirang sa akin bilang isa sa mga hurado dahil mukhang magkakasakit na yata ako sa puso (at lagi na lang daw akong umiiyak sa tuwing magbabasa, sabi ng mga bagets ko 😆 ). But I wish all the finalists GOOD LUCK and CONGRATULATIONS, dahil para sa akin, lahat kayo ay WINNER!

Sa PEBA, congratulations for another successful year!

The Promise

One thing I’ve been dying to do for the longest time is to go back to blogging. I will make it happen… Soon.

Meron Akong Kuwento

Meron akong ano… meron akong kuwento! Meron akong ano… meron akong kuwento! Ah wala wala wala! 🙂

Parang baliw lang ano? Pasensya na po at wala lang akong maisip na mabisang pambungad sa inyo.

Kamusta na po? Napadaan lang ako para magkuwento. Isang bagong balita tungkol sa akin na iilan (uhm, ilan nga ba? 🙂 ) pa lang ang nakakaalam. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pumasok sa isip ko at nagawa ko ‘to pero nagdala rin naman ng saya at satisfaction ang isang desisyon na nagawa ko. Ano yun?

May bago ulit akong blog site! =)

Sa totoo lang, na-realize ko na kapraningan ang iwan ko ang isang bagay na nagkaroon na ng magandang parte sa buhay ko. Ang Life Is A Piece of Keyk ay naging isang bagong simulain na sa akin. Nakakilala ng mga bagong kaibigan; nakahanap ng mga karamay sa panahon ng kasiyahan at kalungkutan. Pero may sakit yata akong ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) at di ko magawang mag-focus sa isang project at i-sustain ito. Kahit ako sa katagalan ay hindi na rin nae-entertain at nakakaramdam na ng kapaguran sa iba’t ibang ideya na pumapasok sa aking kukote.

Nasaan ang bago kong blog site? Naandon sa kabilang hosting site at nag-iisa. Naghahanap ng mambabasa at mukhang hindi pa nga nadidiskubre. Pero masaya pa rin ako. Sa isip ko man ay wala akong reader, o walang pang bored sa internet ang naliligaw pa doon, nakakagaan pa rin ng pakiramdam ang makapag-kuwento at mailabas ang saloobin mo sa mga oras na gusto mong magkuwento. Walang pipigil sa mga daliri mo sa pagta-type, walang magpapahinto ng utak mo sa pagtakbo. Ngayon ay iniisip ko pa kung kaya kong i-sustain ang bago kong site. Madali kasi akong kapitan ng katamaran, o baka nga mayroon akong ADD (?). Basta isa lang ang alam ko ngayon… Gusto kong magkuwento sa inyo. 🙂

Thank You, Xie-xie Ni, Terima Kasih!

I know this post is way too late (aside from my temporary job, which took up a lot of my time and energy, super occupied lang po talaga ako during the holidays season this past year kaya please forgive me for late posting) nevertheless I still want to share with you this post-Christmas gift I recently received.

About six months ago I decided to join PEBA and its annual blogging contest for OFWs. I was hesitant at first to submit my blog, Bayani. O Bayani? because I feared I might not be able to meet the standards of the readers as well as the judges. So I was surprised when I got the email from PEBA approving my entry and made me its 7th nominee (it reached the total of 37). PEBA ran a poll to find out who will be crowned the winner of Pinoy Expats/OFW Bloggers Award 2009 and despite the lack of publicity, more than a thousand Filipinos around the globe read my blog and voted for me. And I’d like to take this opportunity to thank these people who believed in me, including the judges, because I was ranked Top 5 in the recently concluded Pinoy Expats/OFW Bloggers 2009 Awards Night.

Maraming Salamat Po Sa Inyong Lahat!

I would also like to thank the founder of PEBA , Kenji and all the people behind it, particularly LordCM and AZEL who were so patient to remind and encourage me to send even one friend/relative to represent me, kahit na madalas ay delay ang reply ko. Their efforts gave me a hunch though that I would bring home an award. And yes, I was right. I felt bad na hindi po ako nakapunta sa awarding and nobody was present to take the award for me, but I’m sincerely happy for all the winners, most especially to NEBZ for ranking 1st.

CONGRATULATIONS PEBA and to all the WINNERS!

 

P.S.

So now I wonder how to get my trophy? Gusto ko na siyang mahawakan…tsk! 🙂