It was 18 years ago when I last saw you. Chubby, vibrant and so full of life. You’re sociable you’ve made a lot of friends, old and young alike. That’s why you were envied by most, too.
I remember the sound of your laugh, especially when you’re teasing your friends. Makulit ka rin kasi na tulad ko. I remember the day you fought with our neighbor, that woman who used to own a sari-sari store. You fought with her because she scolded me when I bought the wrong laundry soap. I remember the night you waited for me at the school’s main gate. That was the night of my prom and you asked me to come home before 10 P.M. I remember your voice when you’re angry, and we’re all scared. Whenever you called me by my full name, I knew you were already mad and I had to run towards you as fast as I could. I remember every hit of Tatay’s belt on my skin. That was your favorite tool and the marks would usually stay until the next day.
I remember the time when the strongest earthquake hit our country in July 1990. You helped bring some of your colleagues to the hospital because they collapsed due to shock. A few weeks after, you got sick. I remember how stupid I was for ignoring all the signs; how ungrateful I was for leaving your side when you had fever. I remember how you would softly call me “anak“, because you wanted me to comb your hair so I would see your falling hair. I remember the day you showed me your bruises all over your body. All black and blue. I asked you why and you just said you need to be hospitalized. I was 15 and naive, I didn’t ask further. I remember the day you asked me to be at your side when you see the doctor. You wanted me to hear every word he’d say. I thought you’re just overreacting so I didn’t listen. If only I knew, I’d stay and held your hand tightly. You were a picture of a strong person despite your illness kaya hindi ako natakot o nangamba. I remember the day you were brought to the hospital, you were crying to tatay and you said you couldn’t see anymore. You were fighting for your life for four long days. My siblings and I were not allowed in the hospital. All we could do is to listen to our relatives’ conversations. Until one day, one of our neighbors picked us up at home. She was crying while we’re heading to the hospital. And when we were stopped by the hospital’s security guard, I heard her murmured “Malubha na lagay ng nanay nito. Kailangan na silang makita“. I got scared, not realizing that my hands were all shaky. I began to cry and when we reached your room, all your friends and our relatives were there, weeping. Your nanay was there, too, and she was was wailing hard. Yeah, your best friend was also there, not leaving your side. She was crying too and she was holding your hand. At the time, I wished I was her. She asked me to come near you and talk to you, whisper anything in your ear. Hindi ka na daw kasi makapagsalita. You wouldn’t open your eyes. Sabi niya pa, you’ve been asking for me since you got to the hospital. You were telling stories about me and my stubborness; how much you loved me and my siblings. Inilaglag mo ako ng bonggang-bongga. Gusto ko sanang mainis sa’yo pero hindi ko nagawa. So I sat beside you and whispered, “Nanay, eto na ako. Si Enjoy.” I saw how you were trying to open your eyes, and when you saw me, tears fell down from your eyes. Exactly one month after the earthquake, you gave up fighting. I couldn’t forget the people who cried because they lost a very special friend. I couldn’t forget tatay’s face because she lost not only a wife but also a friend. I couldn’t forget how hurt my siblings were because we lost a mother. I couldn’t forget the number of people who attended your burial. You were like a celebrity! That day I realized how much you were loved. Most especially, I couldn’t forget your smile when you heard my voice despite the agony that you’re experiencing.
I miss you Nanay… so much. Kung kaya ko lang ibalik ang oras and be a good daughter to you, I would. But it’s too late. It’s too damn late.
After a rainy weekend, muli na namang nagpasikat si Haring Araw. Ilang araw din na nagcloud seeding ang air force (opo, ganyan kayaman ang Singapore na pati ang ulan ay ginagawang hi-tech) kaya noong Linggo ay parang binagyo na naman ang Singapore. Palibhasa’y malapit sa ekwador kaya medyo may kadalangan ang pag-ulan sa bansang ito. Bumbunan ko lang yata ang di nabasa sa tindi ng bagsak ng ulan, na nakisabay pa sa Palm Sunday. Isang pagbabasbas, ika nga. At umatend po ako ng Sunday Mass kaya ako ay nabasbasan din ng biyaya. 🙂
Dahil nga maganda ang panahon ngayon, na-thrill akong gawin ang isa pang blog award na aking natanggap mula kay tukayong beautilicious AC na medyo napending na rin sa aking kaha de yero. Thank you po ulit for considering me as one of your friendly bloggers. Apir tayo sister!
Medyo may pressure ang award na ito dahil kailangan ko daw i-install yung photo ko (pramis install talaga yung sabi sa rule, mababasa niyo mamaya. di ko lang alam kung exe o dmg file ang gagamitin ko sa pag-install. joke! hehehe). Sa aking pagkakaalam ay isang beses ko pa lang naman naipaskel ang aking magandang mukha *ubo-ubo* pero grupo pa ‘yun dahil gusto kong may misteryo akong maiwan sa inyo. Sa award na ‘to, mukhang mapapasubo yata ako. Pfft!
Here are the rules for this award :
1. Take a Photo or install one now . (aheks! sabi ko sa inyo eh :D)
2. Do not change clothes,do not trim the hair, the main image is to be captured (we want to see the real you…he..he..) .
3. Post a picture that is in edit.
4. Post these instructions (required).
5. Tag people to show appreciation to them that touch your heart because of their friendly attitude (required).
Ang challenge ng blog na ito (talagang challenge ito) ay maipakita mo ang iyong tunay beautyness/handsomeness sa madlang people without putting on make-up or fixing your hair or even changing your dugyot clothes to a cool outfit. So kung mukha kang nireyp ng sampung tomador habang ginagawa mo ang entry ay talaga namang malas kang tulad ko (sabagay, wala naman makakaalam kung magbabagong-anyo ka. hihihi!). So here’s my latest, unedited photo. May expiration ang picture na ito kaya kabisaduhin niyo na ang aking mukha at baka ako na pala ang dyumidyekwat ng bag niyo ay di niyo pa alam. Kuha ito habang ginagawa ko ang entry na ito. Hindi pa ko naliligo kaya dugyot ang itsura ko dyan.
Here’s another photo but this time I look better. Nakaligo at nakapagsuklay na ko niyan. Kuha ito nung Sabado habang kami ay nasa bus stop na malapit sa aming block. Papunta kami ng Lucky Plaza (ang mall na tambayan ng karamihan sa mga Pinoy dito sa SG) sa Orchard Rd. para mag-remit ng pera sa Pinas. Sa tabi ko ay ang aking bodyguard na abala sa paglalaro ng PSP. Napatagal ang dating ng bus at sa kainipan ay napekchur-pekchur muna ako. Muli, may expiration ang pekchur na ito. 🙂
At ito po ay aking ipinapasa sa lahat ng nasa aking blogroll.
Thank you for making me smile, frown, mad, happy, excited, confused, perplexed etc, etc…
I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or better than friendship.
Pietro Aretino (1537)
Every human being on this earth is born with a tragedy, and it isn’t original sin. He’s born with the tragedy that he has to grow up…a lot of people don’t have the courage to do it.
– Helen Hayes
Thank you LORD for another year of hardships and struggles;
for another year of heartaches and failures…
It’s quite a rough journey but I’ve never been better.
It’s time to face my own tragedy.
Sorry for the long delay.
How about you?